RIO
A Letter From My Friends In The South
Dear Clyde,
Last February, I sent this infamous newsletter to to everyone about my experience in Rio. Since the Brazil Carnival is exactly 8 weeks from today, I thought I would just resend what happened last year. I know I will be there again from January 30- February 8th, 2008. I know many of the fellas will hit the world famous club "HELP" ( the largest club in Brazil and you already know why) and MABS but don't forget there are other spots besides those two spots.
Anyway, here is the newsletter i sent last year in it's entirety. Listen, last week , I sent you a newsletter that I was still in Brazil for Carnival . Well, I returned about 4 days ago and wanted to write you a newsletter to tell you about my experience as soon as I got back.
However something kinda happened.
The fact that the airlines lost my bags, I was delayed at the airport for an additional 4 hours, the long 14 hour plane ride and the weather drop going from 92 degrees to 22 degrees( in 12 hours) caused my immune system to suffer so I have been in the bed recovering since Thursday .
But as of this morning, I'm back on the block.
I am behind a few newsletters so bare with me. We still have to talk about NBA All Star, Las Vegas, BET Spring Bling, Black Cruise Events, the Jetski weekend event coming up, the event hitting Africa in August, Miami Memorial Day Weekend, Fesitval At Sea, Chocolate Hedonism, Dominican Republic, BCR, CIAA., whoooaaaaaaaa just so many events that I have to tell you about.
But first, let me tell you about my Brazil trip. This is really geared toward the fellas so if you are a female, you might want to fall back on this newsletter.
Hey fellas, I have been to many, many places and been to plenty of events. I have seen lots of beautiful women but I don't think I will ever see as many beautiful women as I did in Rio for Carnival.
Good Goobly Goo!!
Can you imagine thousands of women who look better than Beyonce or Gabriel Union on the beach and in the club and in your face treating you like some sort of King?
The beaches were packed full of brickhoused, thunder thighed, flat tummy 24 inch waist bearing, stacked 42 inch bootilicious booty, long REAL hair, itsy bitsy teeny weeny thin dental floss wearing thong bikinis all over the place.
The second you get off the plane, you begin to INSTANTLY try and find ways to move to Rio. I met alot of American brothas who already did.
Boyyyy the clubs were all crunk. Whether you liked to Samba or you wanted to hear some Lil Jon, it was there for you.
The Brazilian people are very friendly too. You know what was really wierd. There were thousands of people on the beach and I did not see but four people who had on a one piece swimsuit. ( they were all american) Every female on the beach had either a bikini or a thong.
Unfortunately just about every guy had on speedos ( which I thought looked quite nasty but hey Im a guy so what do I know)
Hey fellas.
Can you imagine, you walk into a club with thousands of women ( wearing thongs in a club, some even topless) and you can have just about have any women you want just by walking up to her introducing yourself., asking her to dance ( you NEVER get turned down), buying her a drink and then, well you know the rest . I have alot more to the story including videos, but first I thought I would show you a few photos so you can get an idea of how things went down. Plus here are a few rules we learned to do and NOT to do in Brazil.
LESSON #`1 LEARN THE LANGUAGE
Learn some Portugeese. In Brazil, if you know a little bit of portugeese, it is alot better to communicate. Most Brazilians know very little english. So pick up a few CDs and practice 10 minutes a day and you will be treated like a King in Brazil
LESSON #2 - DO NOT COME ALL BLINGED OUT WITH JEWELRY
Leave the jewelry at home. All you need to do is be yourself. There are certain section in Brazil that are VERY poor. Fancy jewelry actually brings unwanted attention.
LESSON #3 GET YOURSELF IN SHAPE
While it is not neccessary to be in shape to hook up with a sexy Brazilian Goddess, you look out of place in a city that prides itself on looking like you stepped out of model magazine
LESSON #4 - CHECK OUT THE FAMOUS COPACABANA AND IPANEMA BEACH
These are the two most well known beaches in the world. Personally, I think there are 100 times better than South Beach.
LESSON #5 DON'T BE SHY IN RIO
Unlike the U.S, where if you see a women checking you out, it might be just a game. You end up buying drinks for her and her friends, she says thank you, walks away with the drink and laughs at you with her friends for being another victim. You are out of $20.00 again with not a telephone number to show.
In Rio, if she looks back she is interested and would love for you to say something. If you buy her a drink, then she will be down with you until you are both ready to leave the club.
Know your target audience. Who are your most important customers, clients or prospects, and why? Know what is important to them and address their needs in your newsletter each month. Include a photo to make your newsletter even more appealing.
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LESSON #6 - TREAT HER WITH RESPECT AND JUST BE YOURSELF
In Brazil, you don't need to have scored 52 points for the Miami Heat, you don't have to live next door to Donald Trump. Be yourself. You treat a girl with respect, you get much more in return. Brazilian women LOVE foreign men (YOU). If you buy a women dinner at a nice restaurant they will act as though you bought her a diamond ring with a keys to the Hummer.
LESSON #7 - ASK HER TO DANCE - YOU WON'T GET TURNED DOWN
You know how in the U.S. you might get shot down 5 times before someone will finally take you up on your offer for a dance?
Not in Brazil. These ladies will pull your hand to the dance floor and try and teach you to Samba. You might look like a damn fool switching your feet back and forth like a crack addicted penguin but once she laughs at you for trying, she will be all yours.
LESSON #8 - APPROACH ANYONE YOU HAVE AN INTEREST IN
You see that exotic stunner from 25 yeards away. Now in the US, you might need drink a gallon on Hypnotic just to hypnotize yourself into believing that you have the courage to get shot down for the 12th time in the club. In Brazil, it's no problem.
Walk to her and introduce yourself with basic portugeese. That is what impresses brazilian women. That you took the time to learn basic portugeese. She does not care the way you look or how much money you have. Just be yourself.
LESSON #9 - SEXX IN BRAZIL - YEP WHAT YOU HEARD WAS TRUE
Is it true that you can live out your wildest fanstasy in Brazil?
Ohhhhhhh Papi
One word. YES.
Of course, you have to be careful. There are diseases in Brazil just like the US. It goes without question to always protect yourself.
LESSON #10 - DATING - RELATIONSHIPS - MARRIAGE IN BRAZIL
WARNING -
If you ever visit Brazil, your outlook on dating in the US will forever be changed.
It is very easy to fall in love in Brazil. If you are looking for more than just a fling, then Brazil will have you never coming back home. Remember that song that Destiny Child made called "Cater To You". The song must have orginated in Rio because that is exactly the way you will be treated
YOU NEED TO HAVE A PASSPORT AND VISA FOR BRAZIL
Brazil is one of the few countries that require you to get both a PASSPORT and a BRAZIL TOURIST VISA. You need both.
Again, thank you for taking the time to read this special bulletin.
Sincerely,